What's Up with the Hat?

Much more than a fashion accessory

I typically wear an old-fashioned style of hat. Some call it a flat cap, while others label it a “newsboy” hat. It’s a little old-timey and reminds me of a bygone era. Over the last decade or so, it became my signature look. I find this ironic, considering I have the fashion sense of a toddler. Most days, if I manage to zip my zipper and avoid wearing my shirt inside out, I call it a win. But the hat. It’s ever-present.

Mind you, it’s not a worldwide phenomenon like Harry Potter’s glasses or superheroes sporting underwear over their pants. But in my home city of Omaha, I've become synonymous with my hat. People can spot me when I’m out in public because it’s the first thing they notice. Despite much of my life being public, I’m really an introvert at heart. There are times when I like to fly under the radar. On days when I’m feeling less than social and don’t feel like making small talk, I’ll forgo wearing my hat. Without it, nobody seems to notice me. Which is kind of the point.

I’ve caught wind of speculation, though. Many people assumed I am balding. Contrary to this theory, I still have a mostly full head of hair. Although my hairline is receding just a tad, I hope the Universe smiles down upon me and allows me to keep the rest. Worst case scenario, if I do start to lose my hair, I could shave my head and go for the Mr. Clean look. Then again, bald guys look better when they have a beard. So, I’d have to grow one. But then I might look older than my numerical age. To counter this, I might have to get an earring… you know, to let people know I’m still young at heart. Then again, if it’s a hoop earring, people might think I look like a pirate. At that point, I’d do away with my flat cap in favor of a pirate hat. Throw in a peg leg and an eye patch, and there you have it. Argh. But if I’m being honest, that all sounds exhausting. Hair or no hair, maybe I’ll just stick with the newsboy hat.

My friend Eddie joked that my social media followers probably assumed that my hat was sewn into my head. Beneath it was not a scalp but an exposed brain that’s connected to the psychic realms. I hate to disappoint those who subscribe to this conspiracy, but it’s just not true.

One client asked me if I wear the hat as a form of psychic protection. He wondered if it acted as a buffer between me and the spirits trying to infiltrate my thoughts. Truthfully, the notion had never even occurred to me. But if one was bombarded by constant voices from the ether and there was no “off” switch, I doubt a flimsy cotton hat would help very much. Sounds a little like putting a Band-aid on a bullet wound.

Honestly, I like my style of hat because it’s simple, timeless, and nonconforming. In other words, it’s not exactly trendy. It’s rare that I come across another gentleman wearing one of these hats. When I do, they’re usually old enough to be my grandpa. We give each other a silent nod and a smile… an unspoken bond that is felt but never spoken about.

Perhaps my favorite aspect of my beloved hat is its past life aspect. In the prohibition era, I lived a life in New York City. I was a construction worker by trade and dabbled in writing as I aspired to be an accomplished author. I frequented speakeasies and jazz clubs, rubbing shoulders with progressive, inclusive, and open-minded folks. My name was Gus. I had four children, a lovely wife, and a flat cap on my head. It was truly a wonderful life.