Secret Recipe for Happiness

Yes... it's gluten-free

Before I dive right in, I want to remind you that tickets are going fast for the May 3rd Past Lives Gallery Reading in Omaha. Save your spot before it’s sold out!

With that out of the way, let’s talk about happiness. How do we attain it? Where do we find it? How can we keep it once we’ve discovered it? These questions have kept philosophers busy for countless centuries. The truth is, if being happy was easy, we wouldn’t talk about it so much. It would be a mundane topic… like tying our shoes or mailing a letter.

The reason why countless books have been written on this subject is because happiness is an elusive unicorn that’s hard to find. Being happy isn’t easy. There. I said it.

But there’s hope. I do have a recipe of sorts, which I’ll share below. But the only secret part is the very last ingredient… which may surprise most of you. Nothing irritates me more than self-help gurus who claim to have all the answers. So, with this article, I promise nothing except a fresh take and a no-frills approach to discovering joy.

The following advice is a culmination of my work as a life coach and intuitive. For the past fifteen years, I’ve helped clients navigate every imaginable situation. Along the way, I’ve made observations and recognized patterns. Spirit guides have also been instrumental in sharing their thoughts on living a happy life. So, here’s my take on what is required to live joyfully…

1. Make time for the people and activities you enjoy most. Look, folks, this is the salt and pepper of our recipe. It’s simple. It’s basic. It’s the most obvious part of our happiness gumbo. But you would not believe how many people fall short in this area. Why? It’s because life is busy. Maybe you rescheduled lunch with a friend because you needed time to grocery shop. Maybe you love painting but haven’t done so because you’re too tired after work. Maybe your spa day was canceled because your toddler jammed a toy up her nose, and you rushed her to Urgent Care. (Been there, done that.) Please make time for a “cup refill” by getting back to the activities that make you smile and the people who warm your heart.

2. Stay healthy! Studies have proven that healthy people are happy people. In fact, health is the number one factor contributing to our overall joy. Why, then, did I make this tip number two if it’s actually number one? Because life itself is unpredictable and out of order, so I’m allowed to be as well.

3. Get back to nature. Outside good. Inside bad. Sunshine on face make human happy. Caveman speak is appropriate here because they were outside 24/7 and seemed to thrive. That is, once they mastered fire and knew how to fend off saber-tooth cats. I promise you one thing - they didn’t suffer from anxiety and depression to the extent of modern-day humans. Plus, they were barefoot much of the time… which is a wonderful to ground ourselves and rejuvenate our souls. The great outdoors is the ultimate pick-me-up when you’re feeling off-kilter.

4. Put down your phone and shut off your computer. Well… not right now. But maybe after you finish reading this. There are scary correlations between screen time and the likelihood of depression. Humans have become addicted to our devices. ADDICTED. The dopamine hit our brains experience when receiving a text message or a comment on social media is like a drug. And like a drug, enough will never be enough. It leaves us wanting more, craving more, needing more. The truth is that technology initially brought us together as a species, but now it’s having the opposite effect. It’s keeping us apart. Have you ever seen a group of people at dinner, and rather than talking, each person is staring at their phone? We must not lose the art of conversation. Next time you’re in a line or waiting room, try pocketing your phone and starting a conversation with a stranger. I bet it will make their day. And yours, too.

5. Don’t be fooled into thinking the world is filled with “bad” people. If you watch the evening news, you’ll go cross-eyed trying to process the robberies, shootings, and car accidents. Between you and me, I wish I could take news stations by their shirt collars and shake some sense into them. Our world is overflowing with kindness and good news as well… they just choose not to air those stories. They go for shock and awe because that gets the best ratings. The truth is, we live in a world where most people are mostly good. What does that mean? It means that each human lives on a spectrum of kindness, and most lean towards honest, decent, and good. Not everyone does, but for sure, the vast majority. Where’s the proof? I guarantee if you were out in public and found yourself in an emergency, a stranger would offer assistance, no questions asked.

6. Be authentic. Happiness comes naturally when we stay true to ourselves. Being comfortable in our own skin may come easier with age and experience. Accepting yourself for who you are is a key ingredient to the happiness casserole.

7. Live in the moment. Oh boy, this is a tough one. Yet, it’s so essential to our mental health. Living in the past can lead to depression if a person is filled with regret. Focusing too much on the future can give us anxiety. What will happen? Will everything be okay? Living for right NOW is the sweet spot because it’s all we have control over.

8. Avoid stressing about important decisions. Look… very few choices in life are permanent. Even the bad tattoo you got in college can be removed with today’s technology. (So long “I heart Jeff” tattoo!) We place so much importance on which house to buy, what job to apply for, and where to send our children to school. Yes, these are important decisions. But if things don’t pan out as planned, you can always change gears and go a different direction. If the house turns out to be a money pit, sell it and move somewhere else. If the job sucks, leave it. If your child isn’t thriving at their school, change schools. Sure, major course corrections like this take time and energy. But it’s doable. So next time you lose sleep over a major decision, simply take a breath and trust your intuition. Chances are, you’ll make the right call. It’s not the end of the world, even if you don't.

9. Avoid overthinking and overcomplicating. So many people feel lost and confused. Others fear they’re not living up to their true potential. Am I on the right track? There’s a good chance you ARE. The problem is that there are too many tracks. Free will grants us a never-ending buffet of choices to make. No matter which path you’re on (personally or professionally) you could always be doing something different. This leads us to second-guess our decisions. Intuition plays into this conversation as well. If you listen to your gut instincts, life has a way of working itself out. If you don’t listen to your intuition, life will become more complex. It’s just that simple.

The final one might surprise you. But if you’ve made it this far, here’s my final suggestion on truly finding happiness.